Is the display of obtuseness real or is just maintained so you can keep on attacking Calvinism and Calvinists? No matter how wrong you have to be as to the actual theology and doctrines in it, in order to do so?
If you believed the theology of and doctrines in Calvinism, there would be no reason to doubt your salvation. You would know what it is you believe about Jesus, and you would know that the only reason you do believe is because God elected you to salvation and brought you to that belief in Jesus by regeneration (a new creation in Christ),so that when you heard the gospel you believed it. You would rest in the reconciliation that Jesus made for you with God, knowing it was God who did it, and not your own wonderful and wise self, who has a fallen heart at enmity with God, and deceitful above all else.
All those who are saved should from time to time contemplate just how poor and needy we are, and recognize that we never operate independently of God but always are in need of His fountain of grace and mercy. Stop relying on our own righteousness and remember whose robe we wear. That daily we need to feast on the Bread of Life and come to Him for the living water to drink.
If you were a Calvinist you would not be always turning to what you did that caused God to save you, trusting in what you did for your security. You would simply trust God. That is one of the things I am most grateful for. I can trust Him and not myself. I know how wretched, prone to unfaithfulness, and unreliable in the things of God, I am. But it is not me up to God, it is God down to me. That is His love. And He is faithful, perfectly and always and in all things.