You are losing the plot. Allow me to recap:
1. First, I said Calvinists believe that "man has a choice in the matter, and that he always and only chooses sin, for which he is responsible—which is why he is facing condemnation!"
2. Then, in response to this, you replied, "So, his condemnation is based in merit (or the lack thereof)."
3. So, I attempted to correct that misperception by reiterating, "His condemnation is based on demerit (i.e., his many sins)."
Merit, worthy of praise. Demerit, worthy of condemnation.
To make it even more clear, we're talking about those who go to the grave rejecting Christ and the reason they face condemnation. We are not talking about the elect and their salvation.
(Side Comment: No, the salvation of the elect is not based on his personal merit. It is based on Christ's merit, which is to say his righteousness. The merit of the regenerate elect is not the ground of his salvation but the fruit thereof. God works in those he saves to produce fruit or merit that proves his salvation, good works which God prepared in advance for us to do.)
Okay, I will accept your arguments.
However, I would still say that mankind is responsible for his rejection of Christ because he is able to make a decision for Christ (at such a time that he is being drawn to Christ).
If he is not able to make a decision for Christ, then he is not responsible / accountable for a decision to reject Christ.
You wrote:
Correct. Because the late Mitch Cervinka, a staunch Calvinist, explained it best, I will simply quote him (all emphases mine):
Another argument commonly raised in support of free will is that God cannot hold man responsible to do what is right if the man has no ability to do what is right. This argument likewise confuses free will with free agency. It is generally true that in order to be responsible a man must have the physical ability and mental capacity to do what is right. Calvinism fully confesses that fallen men have the physical strength to keep God's commandments and the mental capacity to understand what God's commands require of them. In fact, this is the very reason why unregenerate men often react so violently against God's word—they do understand what it says, and they don't like it!
The problem with fallen man is not in his physical abilities, nor in his mental capacity to understand. Rather, man's problem lies in the desires of his heart—he loves sin and hates righteousness—and this is what makes him guilty for his sins. He could obey God's law if he desired to do so. He could trust in Christ if he had any love for God. Man is guilty for the simple reason that, in his sinful rebellion, he refuses to do that which he has the full mental and physical ability to do. His problem is a moral and spiritual problem: he is a sinner at heart, who has no desire for God or godliness.
.So I assume that your position is
not that the non-elect
cannot come to Christ; but that he
will not come to Christ.
Since that is the case; and it is also a valid interpretation of John 12:32 that Christ draws all men to Himself without exception,
I would say that in being drawn to Christ, that "will not" is being dealt with; so that the person being drawn is given an opportunity to turn his "will not" into a "will do"...
In being drawn to Christ, he is faced with hell as the consequence for continuing to reject the Lordship of Jesus and deliverance from sin that He offers to him.
And this is a strong motivation for him to say "yes" to the Lordship of Christ.
Is he also capable at this juncture of saying "no" to Christ? He most certainly can!
It may be that his love of sin is greater than the drawing power of Christ in that particular instance.
God will exert His drawing power only to the extent that it will produce free will in the man (for where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom, 2 Corinthians 3:17); but Christ will not overpower the man so that he has no choice but to receive Christ.
He is a gentleman (Revelation 3:20).
Even Pharaoh, when he was faced with overwhelming evidence of YHWH's power, God hardened his heart so that he would be able to continue in the choice that he had always made about YHWH. Could Pharaoh have chosen YHWH? he might have done so because the hardening of his heart was only enough to counteract the effect of the overwhelming evidence that was before him; so that always Pharaoh had a free will decision that was placed in front of him. Pharaoh, in being drawn to Christ, was able to make an unhindered decision for or against Christ; however, this decision would not be overtly affected by the miracles that he saw coming from YHWH's hand. So God hardened Pharaoh's heart so that Pharaoh would be able to make his decision from the standpoint of having free will and not because he could not help but believe for that he saw overwhelming evidence of YHWH's power.