It is my choice to believe that John 12:32 refers to all men without exception, just like it is your choice to believe that John 12:32 refers to all men without distinction.
That is correct. And our choice is made on the basis of sound exegesis involving the whole counsel of God in scripture, which is why we are so at peace with it.
If God chooses those who are saved, then by default he chooses whom he will not save ...
That is correct. Badly worded, but correct. (Note the faulty contrast in the bold text.)
... and in choosing them unto condemnation (ultimately not giving them a choice in the matter of whether or not they will be saved), he removes the responsibility of the sinner to make a decision to receive Christ—since that is not the choice of the sinner but rather this is based on God's unconditional (arbitrary) decision.
That is incorrect. Every Calvinist will tell you that man has a choice in the matter, and that he always and only chooses sin, for which he is responsible—which is why he is facing condemnation!
And that includes the sin of not believing in Christ, which contravenes God's command (1 John 3:23). Sin, of course, is lawlessness (v. 4).
... [God] removes the responsibility of the sinner to make a decision to receive Christ, since that is not the choice of the sinner but rather this is based on God's unconditional (arbitrary) decision.
That is incorrect. God's unconditional decision is whom to elect. That is not a decision we make. Man's decision is whether or not to believe in Christ. That is not a decision God makes.
All those whom God elects will choose to believe. All those he passes over will choose to not believe. Both sides make a choice.
If man has a choice in the matter of being saved when he is drawn; ...
That is incorrect. Even those who are not drawn have a choice in the matter of being saved—and they choose to note believe.
... and also if every man is drawn; ...
That is incorrect. Every man without distinction is drawn, not every man without exception.
... then every man is ultimately responsible for the decision that he will make.
That is incorrect. The reprobate are responsible for the decisions they make.
But the elect are not responsible for the decisions they make. God gets the all glory for that. That is why the elect will cast their crowns at his feet, in a manner of speaking. He held himself responsible for their wicked decisions, bearing the penalty for their sin in their stead (e.g., 2 Cor 5:21), but also for all their good decisions, as he is the one bringing forth in them both the desire and the effort (e.g., Php 2:13). Soli Deo gloria.
Ultimately, God does not send anyone to hell; rather, we send ourselves there when we reject God's offer of free provision to save us in the cross of Christ.
That is incorrect. First, God is the judge who condemns sinners (i.e., sends them to hell). They willingly choose that fate, for sure, but God is the judge who passes the verdict and sentence. Second, salvation is not something God offers, it is something he does. We proclaim the good news of that salvation, and those whom the Father gives to the Son will come.
But if God chose certain men out for condemnation (by default), then his condemnation of them is not just and fair.
That is incorrect. It is, again, conflating God's decision to elect and man's decision to sin. Man is not responsible for God's decision to elect, and God is not responsible for man's decision to sin. God justly condemns man for the sin they willingly chose. But not those whom God chose, as he bore their condemnation on the cross.
For God would have created them specifically in order to stoke the fires of hell.
I hate to break this to you but I suspect you believe the same thing. Does God know who will reject him their entire life and create them anyway? Why would he do that, unless he is some sort of cosmic sadist?
I would ask you, what makes you so confident that you are of the elect?
My confidence is not in my election, my confidence is in Christ Jesus.
There is a clear and crucial distinction between the
security and
assurance of one's salvation. The former is an objective fact grounded in the work of Christ applied by the Spirit, while the latter is a subjective experience grounded in the word of Christ affected by the Spirit.
The doctrine that teaches the eternal security of our salvation finds its basis in the love and grace of God who reconciled believers with himself for his own glory through the redemption accomplished by Jesus Christ and for his sake. This great salvation is all of grace; it does not depend on anything we say or do but wholly upon the sinless Son of God. As such, it cannot be placed in jeopardy by anything we say or do. Any teaching that claims a person can lose his salvation ends up making salvation conditional on human merit, attributing in part to man what wholly belongs only to Christ. If salvation is not secured by any merit of ours, then neither is it jeopardized by any demerit of ours. Salvation belongs to the Lord (Jonah 2:9; Ps. 3:8; 68:20; Acts 4:12; Rev. 7:10).
Moreover, the security of our salvation is not a matter of our possessing assurance thereof. In other words, our salvation rests upon the perfect and finished work of the Son of God, not what our transient feelings happen to be telling us at any given moment. What is happening in such cases is that we are looking at ourselves in search of assurance, when the proper ground of assurance should be the same as that of security: Jesus Christ. Peter confidently walked on water so long as he remained focused on Christ; but when he took his eyes off Christ and looked to himself, that is when he doubted and sank below the waves.
The work of Christ grounds our security and the word of Christ grounds our assurance (the word of Christ being the gospel of God's promises). We do not look to our faith for assurance of our salvation but to Christ alone, for Benjamin Warfield was right when he observed: It is not faith in Christ that saves, but Christ who saves through faith. When your faith is at its weakest, Christ remains the sure and solid Rock of your salvation. Rest in him, and him alone.
Ultimately, man is responsible for his own decision and that therefore God's judgment of him is just and fair.
I get that sinners are responsible for their wicked decisions, but do you believe the redeemed are ultimately responsible for their salvation (since they chose Christ)?