This pain is Gods will. I absolutely know he can heal me and I think maybe one day he will, when I learn the lessons I am supposed to learn through this.
Am I living a Holy Life? I dunno. I would have to ask Jesus. All I can do is try to be a good person. Be honest, love God and love others. We have the true law in our heart now. We know what is right and wrong. I have peace through the pain and patients and gratitude now. But I don’t think it’s possible for anyone to live a holy life without Jesus. We are flawed beings in a fallen world.
Holy Life....
A moral life is for both unbeliever and believer. Being a good person is for both unbeliever and believer.
So, being that way does not please God as far as Him seeking His righteousness to be found in us.
How does one love God?
Look to Heaven and feel good emotions towards God?
Do good deeds on purpose and think God smiles down upon us?
Pleasing God is done by the Word of God transformation - having Christ formed in us - and God seeing a reflection of His righteousness
being manifested in our soul.
John 1:1 tells us that He is the Word of God, and is God.
John 1:4, tells us that the Word became flesh and dwelled amongst us.
He wants us to become more and more the Word taking over our flesh.
Becoming transformed inwardly into the image of Christ.
Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.
And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord’s glory, are being
transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from
the Lord, who is the Spirit." 2 Cor 3:17-18
That
"ever increasing glory" comes from an ever increasing learning and understanding of sound doctrine done in the filling of the Spirit.
Having a holy life will be determined by how much we seek out to be shown and taught sound doctrine. How much we dedicate our time to learning the Word of God from a competent Pastor-teacher. That will determine if we love God.
Or, a "holy life" will only be no more than having a self induced emotional experience that we like to call loving God.
In Christ .............. grace and peace