if it is even A reason.
How can God claim to be a God of love? I ask this seriously.
Good question, but you won't get the correct answer from Calvinists.
God can claim it because Jacob and Esau were about nations (ie. Israel and Gentiles), not individuals.
As earlier scripture claims:
Genesis 25
(23) And the LORD said to her, “Two nations are in your womb, and two peoples from within you shall be divided; the one shall be stronger than the other, the older shall serve the younger.”
One of those nations (Israel) were called God's people, and the other nations (Gentiles) were not called God's people.
But as Paul explains: those that were at one time not loved and not called His people could be called His people.
Romans 9
(25) As indeed he says in Hosea, “Those who were not my people I will call ‘my people,’ and her who was not beloved I will call ‘beloved.’”
(26) “And in the very place where it was said to them, ‘You are not my people,’ there they will be called ‘sons of the living God.’”
And Paul sums up that chapter by telling how to become God's beloved people.
Romans 9
(33) as it is written, “Behold, I am laying in Zion a stone of stumbling, and a rock of offense; and whoever believes in him will not be put to shame.”