I do want to spend more time on this op but I'm fairly busy this week. For now, I'll provide a fairly simple concept, one that is found in scripture more than once. This op has incorrectly asserted the dissent hold to endlessness when that's not true. I don't read anyone here saying toxic people have endless liberty to abuse others or that those finding themselves interacting with toxic people must endlessly tolerate them and endlessly love them by letting the toxic person be toxic. That criticism is a complete straw man.
I've already posted about goals, boundaries, and expectations being one means of measuring both healthy, functional people and relationships and toxic unhealthy and abusive people and relationships. One of the places this can be found in scripture is the "three strikes" rule.
Matthew 18:15-17 ESV
If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.
Titus 3:9-11 ESV
But avoid foolish controversies, genealogies, dissensions, and quarrels about the law, for they are unprofitable and worthless. As for a person who stirs up division, after warning him once and then twice, have nothing more to do with him, knowing that such a person is warped and sinful; he is self-condemned.
In both these instances there is an initial step directed (commanded). If that does not prove to effect change, then there is a second step directed. In the Matthew text a third step is explicitly directed but it should not be thought the Titus text is legalistically limited to only two "warnings." Anyone has liberty to warn a third time. Whether two or three actions are taken, the result is the same: have nothing to do with the person.
And it certainly was within the ability of this op to practice that standard, well within the op's ability to post those scriptures and "warn" or expect the same from us. That clearly did not happen. Instead, everyone was attacked. That response is also described at various points throughout the Bible but one of the most salient (for the purposes of this op) is found in Galatians 5.
Galatians 5:19-21
Now the deeds of the flesh are evident, which are: immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmities, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, disputes, dissensions, factions, envying, drunkenness, carousing, and things like these, of which I forewarn you, just as I have forewarned you, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.
Most people read through that text quickly because they do not identify with the immorality, sorcery, or drunkenness but in the midst of those extremes are some rather ordinary and commonplace behaviors: enmity, strife, disputes, and dissent. There is a substantive difference between division and divisiveness. This op manifested enmity, strife, and divisive disputes and dissent almost immediately and it did so despite requests for more Biblical methods of discussing any disagreements.
Scripture clearly sets standards, and the standards it sets have goals, boundaries, and expectations, AND limits. Anyone in this thread who's been asked once, asked twice, even asked a third time to discuss things as scripture directs and does not should be ignored (not endlessly engaged in a misguided effort to bring them around to a different view). They have, according to scripture, proved who and what they are, and we're to have nothing to do with them. When we don't do that, we end up being joining the already existing disobedience. Toxic people like it when we become like them.
Lastly, while practice the Matthew and Titus texts there is also a means by which we do so because asking for someone to change with the words and approach of someone like, say Jeremiah, looks much different than someone like, say, the apostle John. Same message; different messenger. Tose going through life always acting like Jeremiah are toxic. The same, ironically holds true for those always acting like John. Extremes are always toxic. It does not matter whether it is the extreme of legalism or the extreme of antinomianism; the extreme of boundary-less mercy or the extreme of the punitive. Anything in scripture can be abused toxically.
Ephesians 4:25-32
Therefore, laying aside falsehood, speak truth each one of you with his neighbor, for we are members of one another. Be angry but do not sin.... and do not give the devil an opportunity........... Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear. Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.
Philippians 2:1-5
Therefore, if there is any encouragement in Christ, if there is any consolation of love, if there is any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and compassion, make my joy complete by being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose. Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus...
Colossians 4:5-6
Conduct yourselves with wisdom toward outsiders, making the most of the opportunity. Let your speech always be with grace, as though seasoned with salt, so that you will know how you should respond to each person.
Those are just samples of the many directives scripture provides, all of which can be toxically abused. The point is this idea anyone who disagrees with this op necessarily subscribes to the belief, "we should never part ways with anyone in this life......... and spend as much time and energy as it takes to reach and convert them," or "are trying very hard to steer the discussion into the realm of the physical and keep all spirituality out of it," is just hogwash that should be recanted and amended as scripture directs lest we have nothing to do with the op (other than establishing correct biblical standards before moving on).
I'll post some others as time and inclination permit.
