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That isn't the teaching, that is the argument against it. It is called irresistible grace in the TULIP for a reason. And that reason is that Scripture tells us that we are saved by grace. And grace is not a power to be resisted or accepted it is God giving to those something they absolutely do not deserve and in no way are able to deserve it. They can not do one single thing to to earn or deserve it. And in the I of TULIP it is addressing that very grace that saves. Not all grace. The grace that brings salvation.The teaching is simple to boil down. Can someone resist and reject God's irresistible or effectual Grace? According to everything I have read on reformed theology, the answer is no. So no matter how it is dressed up, it still is forced upon people. If I had the power to change people's wills and went around doing so, would that not be manipulation?
If it is only offered, or made available to all, it is no longer grace, but requires something of the recipient. Your issue is not really with grace, it is with the insistence that if God does not let us make our own decision in the matter, then He is manipulative. Therefore you extend that into Him making us love Him, having robots who love Him because they have to when both of those things are oxymorons. You simply will not accept His sovereignty over you and so you milign the idea instead. That is what it boils down to. There are no scriptures that ever add the idea or concept of us choosing to any scriptures that speak of believing, repentance etc. None. No scripture that even suggests that there is such a thing as common grace that makes salvation possible to all. Common grace feeds and governs and sustains a creation and a creature that hates Him. Common grace does not change the hearts of all without exception Or give understanding of spiritual things to all without exception. If it did Paul would not still be talking about the natural man not understanding spiritual things.
And there is no comparison, no legitimate analogy, between you changing people's wills through manipulation, and from pure grace God giving a people to Christ. If those who insist they choose Christ all on their own, relying only on the smidgeon of grace God gives Him, still also insist that they do not believe in works salvation, that choosing isn't something they contributed. the bulk of posts in this thread should remove that fallacy.