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That is determinism, not Calvinism.If all things whatsoever comes to pass have been predestined by God, then man cannot be free.
If that occurs it is because there is a stronger desire that prevents it. We still always follow our stronger desire. Temptation has nothing to do with what the will is able to do or not do. Temptation is only temptation.I do not say that we are free from outside influences, or inward inclinations but none of these necessitates the will to follow their suggestions or leanings. There are times we do not do what these forces seek to make us do. We we often choose otherwise to the direction we are tempted to take.
Take procrastination for example. One might be tempted to procrastinate on completing a project. And that is the first desire. But then the to have the project complete becomes stronger than the desire not to, or the desire to simply not be a procrastinator maybe, and it is that stronger desire that moves our will to finish the project. Or the other way around. We desire to finish and that is the best desire but we have a greater desire to sit down and read a book. So that is what we do.
And though that is what you are wrestling with here it is not the real issue you wrestle with. And that is that you believe we are free to choose Christ, and we who must, and not God who chooses us. And you believe that if that is not the case, then God has violated us in some way by taking that freedom away from us. You do not look at the fall as having affected us so thorouthly through and through we always have a stronger desire to stay away from God than one to 100% submit to Him (which is what is required) and never sin again. We actually love this ability to sin. We don't even actually do that after we have been regenerated, but fortuatly our salvation is not contingent upon our righteousness but Christ's alone.
(Just surmising from what I have read of what you write when I say what it is you do and don't believe. Not stating a fact or declaring your beliefs.)