The Bible vs Toxic Males

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Christian men have an uneven path to navigate. On the one hand they have to be
strong without being bullies, and on the other hand they have to be tender without
being sissies; for example:

● 1Pet 3:7a . . Give honor unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel.

NOTE: Although husbands are senior in the Christian marriage relationship, their
position doesn't grant them carte blanch to mistreat their wives any more than
Jesus has carte blanch to mistreat his church. (cf. Eph 5:28-30)

The Greek word for "honor" basically means: a value.

The word for "weaker" basically means: having no strength, i.e. fragile.

And the word for "vessel" basically indicates anything from a soup bowl to a
cardboard box; in other words: a container.

Peter isn't saying women are physically weaker than men; he's saying Christian
husbands should exercise the same care with their wives as they would a fragile
antique worth thousands of dollars like, say, a Ming vase. Nobody in their right
mind handles a Ming vase like a farmer handles a 5-gallon bucket. Not that some
women couldn't take that kind of handling; it's just that its unbecoming for a
Christian man to lack sensitivity.

This particular assessed value isn't an intrinsic value, nor is it a deserved value
either; but rather, it's a gratuitous value. In other words: Christ commands
Christian husbands to categorize their wives up there with Dresden china even if
she's as tough as a female cop and/or a UFC mixed martial artist the likes of
Rhonda Rousey-- and this is not a choice; no, it isn't optional; it's required.

Christian husbands who treat their Skil saws and their tomato plants with more
care and concern than they treat their wives can just forget about associating with
God on any meaningful level.

● 1Pet 3:7b . . as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not
hindered.

Note the word "together" which is quite the opposite of autonomy and/or
independence.

Couples sometimes assert themselves with words like "What I do is between me
and The Lord." No; marriage changes everything between one's self and The Lord
because people become one flesh in marriage: no longer two sovereign individuals.
(Gen 2:22-24)
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● 1Tim 5:1a . . When speaking to an older man, appeal to him respectfully as
though he were your own father.

Those instructions weren't given to a child, rather, to a grown Christian man in
charge of managing a whole church. So I gather that if a man in Timothy's position
is required to associate with seniors as his betters, then ordinary Christian men
would also be required.

This goes way back to the law that Moses' people agreed upon with God in the Old
Testament.

"Rise in the presence of the aged, show respect for the elderly and revere your
God. I am The Lord." (Lev 19:32)

* I was in a Sunday school class one morning where a young fellow substituted for
the regular teacher. After practically every sentence during his lecture, the fellow
would pause, tighten his lips, turn down the corners of his mouth, squint his eyes
into narrow slits, and look around the room with a fierce scowl on his face. I don't
know about the rest of the group, but as a man easily twice his age; I deeply
resented the looks that youngster was giving us.
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● 1Tim 5:1b . .Speak to the younger men as you would to your own kindred.

In this case, the kindred would be sort of like a man's kid brothers. Young boys look
up to their big brothers; who by all rights should be setting the example as role
models that a growing boy can be proud of. Older brothers ought to be available
too, and not treat their younger siblings as excess baggage and/or uncool nerds
and morons beneath their dignity to be seen with.

"Don't be elitist, but willing to associate with people below you." (Rom 12:16b)

* Men who grew up in dysfunctional homes, where human relationships were an
ongoing cold war, are going to find that 1Tim 5:1b is very difficult to practice in a
manner that cultivates peace, love, and understanding. But were they to speak to
the younger men in church the very same way that they're accustomed to speaking
to their own families; it would likely result in disastrous ramifications.
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● 1Tim 5:2a . . Speak to the older women as mothers,

Honoring one's mother means giving her the respect that her age and her maternal
position deserve. It means watching your language, and it means keeping a civil
tongue in your head. It means speaking to her as a grown-up instead of a child. It
means treating her as one's better instead of lesser. It means deferring to her
wishes instead of demanding your own.

NOTE: In some cultures, elders have to earn respect, i.e. they have to deserve it;
whereas in Christianity their respect is taken for granted; they don't have to earn it.
For example: according to Lev 19:32 the younger generation is expected to honor
the older; not because they deserve it, but because God requires it. Why? Because
He too is an elder, viz: disrespect for an elder on earth is felt by the elder on the
throne in Heaven.

* In extreme cases-- e.g. serial killer Ed Kemper --common sense dictates that
mothers like his should not be respected at all; in point of fact, they should be
hanged for severe child abuse. Nevertheless, were Ed to take up Christianity, he'd
have to begin regarding his mom with a very different attitude than he does now.
(Ed murdered his mom back in 1973. He is currently 75, in poor health, and
contained in a medical facility.)
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Ed Kemper committed a number of unspeakable crimes against women, but
nevertheless guys in his situation are not beyond redemption.

● John 3:16-17 . . For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only son,
that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not
send His son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through
him.

The Greek word translated "loved" in that verse rarely has anything to do with
fondness. It mostly pertains to benevolence, e.g. kindness, courtesy, lenience,
tolerance, generosity, charity, sympathy, compassion, etc. In point of fact no doubt
many of us disgust the supreme being and bear little, if any, resemblance to the
kind of folks with whom He prefers to associate.

Nevertheless, God was thinking of everybody, including Ed Kemper, when Jesus
went to the cross.

● Isa 53:6 . .We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own
way; and The Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all.

So if he had a mind to, Ed could take advantage of Jesus' crucifixion to protect
himself from retribution. But he'd still be the same old Ed Kemper, and in that
state, Ed has some very serious issues with women that are humanly impossible to
cure.

Well; I've no doubt that Ed would be the first to tell you that women in Heaven
would be in very grave danger with him there if not for a way to relieve Ed of his
issues with women. Well, as a matter of fact, God is in the wings for guys in Ed's
condition and He's well able to peel Ed's negative issues off him like a dead skin so
he can depart this life a different man.

● Col 2:11-12 . . In him you were also circumcised, in the putting off of the sinful
nature-- not with a circumcision done by the hands of men but with the
circumcision done by Christ.

Judaism has its circumcision, but Christianity has one that's much better because it
has the power to liberate people from human nature's rather disagreeable
inclinations, viz: whereas Judaism's circumcision is merely a ritual, Christianity's is
the hand of God.
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● 1Tim 5:2b . . Speak to the younger women as sisters, in all purity.

Men should especially avoid speaking to the young women in church as if they've
met in a beer joint or a bowling alley. There are some forms of language, and
figures of speech, that no sensible man would ever use around his real sister, so we
want to keep that in mind when around girls who aren't.
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