Christian Counseling

[ElectedbyHim]

What are your thoughts on Christian Counseling?

My sister wants me to go to counseling for childhood abuse issues.

She has been doing it for years.

I have mixed thoughts and any advise would be helpful.

@Josheb might have some input?

 

[CrowCross]

What are your thoughts on Christian Counseling?

My sister wants me to go to counseling for childhood abuse issues.

She has been doing it for years.

I have mixed thoughts and any advise would be helpful.

@Josheb might have some input?

A lot of christian counselers use secular methods.

My advice for what it's worth....forgive whoever abused you...and walk with Christ.

 

[ElectedbyHim]

A lot of christian counselers use secular methods.

My advice for what it's worth....forgive whoever abused you...and walk with Christ.

I figured they used secular methods and have forgiven them both years before they passed.

Sister thinks I have ignored underlying issues. At 58 not sure what else can be done, its not like I even think about any of it, always figured it was part of my lot in life from the Lord, but not the sin part, but who knows.

Thanks for the response.

 

[CrowCross]

I figured they used secular methods and have forgiven them both years before they passed.

Sister thinks I have ignored underlying issues. At 58 not sure what else can be done, its not like I even think about any of it, always figured it was part of my lot in life from the Lord, but not the sin part, but who knows.

Thanks for the response.

Often something like that can be a generational sin issue. Through faith in Jesus, salvation that generational chain can be broken.

 

[Josheb]

What are your thoughts on Christian Counseling?

Define the terms and I'll post my thoughts accordingly.

There are many differing views regarding what qualifies as "Christian" counseling, so without (correctly) defining the term the matter is subjective.

My sister wants me to go to counseling for childhood abuse issues. She has been doing it for years. I have mixed thoughts and any advise would be helpful. @Josheb might have some input?

I am a retired counselor who specialized in marriage and trauma (separately). The basics scientific treatment of trauma doesn't (or shouldn't) vary from counselor to counselor regardless of the counselors AND the client's religious/spiritual orientation. The physics of gravity do not change for the Christian (or the Buddhist, Islamist, or Hindi). Physics is physics. The same is true of any field of science. There's no "Christian" version of biology or chemistry in which things work differently for a Christian than they do for a noon-Christian. The scientific facts are universal.

The understanding of those facts and how they are applied may vary, but the facts themselves do not.

It is an objectively demonstrable and verifiable fact trauma changes the brain.

That is just as true for every Christian as it is for every non-Christian. The question is how has the trauma in question changed the individual's brain, because that varies from individual to individual (but the changes are limited to the structures known to exist within the brain. Trauma "disconnects" various parts of the brain. For example, it is very common among combat veterans to be able to speak verbosely about an event they experienced in combat but without giving any details. They talk "around" the event with a lot of affect. Others do the exact opposite: the account if extremely detailed but there's no affect, or emotional content provided. The counselor trained in treating trauma 1) knows what to look for and 2) know various/multiple ways to help reconnect the brain AND help the patient accept what happened, how it currently is influencing the survivor's life, and how s/he might want too change those effects for a better quality of life.

A good secular counselor will still promote "spiritual" experience and/or religious participation because the scientific research on the subject consistently shows that is a beneficial course of treatment. The Christian counselor will promote Christianity dependent upon the environment in which s/he provides services. This is important because some state laws, licensure requirements and ethics codes place restrictions on the counselor's methodology (and they don't emphasize this in most secular graduate schools). For example, if I were working in a state-run secular treatment program I might be actively prevented from initiating any specific religious content (at least until the client broached the matter). Conversely, if I were working at a practice that was explicitly Christian and employed only Christians then the rules are different because they bias is explicit. Those kinds of practices have the clients sign documents acknowledging these facts (and the best therapists will discuss this openly with the client early on). Whether secular or religious the ethics codes (LCSW, LFMT, LPC, etc.) can be boiled down to two basic principles: 1) maintain your objectivity and 2) do not exploit the client.

Which is another reason why "Christian" counseling has to be well defined. There are a lot of nut cases (that's not a clinical term ) practicing counseling. "Christian" counselors can be just as abusive as secular alternatives (about two-thirds of all ethical complaints are related to sexual misconduct regardless of the religious orientation of the professional ).

There's a unique category within the Christian community. They are those with both seminary and clinical training. I have degrees from both secular state-run universities and private Christian universities, and I have experienced the differences in both method and content in the education firsthand. Occasionally I'd have a fellow student who was an ordained clergy who was looking for either a clinical degree or basics clinical skills to supplement their seminary training. Some of them proved to be very capable counselors who fluently integrated the " spiritual and clinical content. Some of the best counselors I've witnessed were military chaplains. Most (but by no means all) of the worst, alternatively, were those in the secular military mental health services.

One of the biggest problems in all of the above is the problem of advice. The client often incorrectly believes counseling is about having someone tell him/her what to do with their life to solve the problem and too many counselors think they know what's best and willingly should be telling the client what to do. The professional does this in spite of the fact we have decades of empirical research proving that approach is ineffective. So do not go to a counselor if you're looking for him/her to tell you how to live and what to do and do not go to a counselor who does that readily. The wisest, bestest counselor open up the matter, exploring all possible choices, discussing the pros and cons of each alternative, helping the client to choose what they think is best for them - even if it means knowing the person is making (another) poor choice. That's why counseling sometimes takes a long time. This is especially true in treating trauma. Too much advice breeds dependency and injures self-efficacy and personal responsibility. The wisest and bestest counselor provide education pertaining what objectively and demonstrably works..... based on the scientific research.

For example, the trained and experienced trauma specialist will introduce somatic self-regulation skills very early on. The Christian therapist will integrate religious practice (Bible reading, prayer, mediation, contemplation, etc.) with those skills. A wise secularist might also do that but, in my experience, they do not usually take the initiate in that regard. Simply put: trauma cannot be experienced in a relax body and mind. The problem is that many trauma survivors look calm on the outside but if you hook them up to an MRI their physiology looks like a pile of hamsters on hamster wheels. Sadly, new age philosophies prey on and exploit this condition (see the two basics of ethics cited above). I readily used scripture when I counseled. I routinely prayed with clients when I counseled. I occasionally routinely discussed a client's personal theology. That happened only when a particular theological belief was demonstrably inhibiting or self-injurious. I routinely encouraged the re-engagement of religious participation. (I still provide counseling on a short-term basis for free without charge as part of my ministry in retirement and I use all the spiritual disciplines).

Because this is getting lengthy, I'll stop. I could fill pages of posts detailing various differences between secular counseling and "Christian" counseling, as well as various differences between one so called "Christian" approach and another. Don't go to a counselor who isn't specifically trained in the treatment of trauma or working under the supervision of someone thusly trained (oone of the first clients I had in private practice was an individual who'd been beaten on a nearly daily basis from the age of 6 until 16, raped thrice, physically abused in multiple other relationships and was dependent on prescription medications being taken indiscriminately. I was way out of my skill set and it was necessary for me to get help in order to help the client).* Do not just take their word for it. Ask them what specific training they've received and then Google it (and, if you like, you can DM me). For example, EMDR is a very unusual way of treating certain traumas, but it is also very effective, so a lot of trauma specialists have that training. There are other ways of training the body so many counselors don't have that training (I trained in that modality but rarely used it because I found other techniques more efficacious).

ANYONE here who has experienced trauma can benefit from reading the first five chapters of "Trauma and Recovery" by Judith Herman, BUT ONLY THE FIRST FIVE CHAPTERS! Why? Because Herman does a very good job of covering the history of trauma diagnosis and treatment in psychology, but the book is over thirty years old so the treatment modality she describes is antiquated. The treatment of trauma has advanced markedly in the last thirty years. I also recommend reading "Boundaries" by Henry Cloud and John Townsend (and "Boundaries in Marriage" if you're married) and "Healing is a Choice" by Stephen Arterburn. These books will provide a preparatory foundation for entering counseling. They'll also prove diagnostic because if anything in the book is found triggering then you have your answer: you need counseling. Stop procrastinating and go.

If you like, @ElectedbyHim, you can DM me and share a little more personal content and I'll provide a little more detailed guidance pertaining to the efficacy of counseling and what to look for. I do not do counseling with forum members. That would prove problematic in many ways, so it's just not done. The basics, depending on the Dx, aren't difficult to know, learn, or practice and reap benefits. There are at least two members of this forum who will testify to the efficacy of DM conversations I've had with them. Perhaps they'll DM you and volunteer their witness to that effect.








* Notice I did not say whether that individual was male or female. Over the course of my tenure as a counselor I have had many clients of both sexes with similar experiences. The problem of trauma and abuse is not limited to only females or only males.
.

 

[fastfredy0]

I am a retired counselor who specialized in marriage and trauma (separately).

Gee, I always thought those two went together.

 

[Josheb]

Gee, I always thought those two went together.

Welllll..... there's good trauma and bad trauma .


One of the simplest (and somewhat simplistic) definitions of trauma is any event that causes a sudden and dramatic change in the way the individual experiences the world. We thought the word was good and safe one moment, and the next it proved to be extremely unsafe and not good. Although I used to be wary of walking across the parking lot, in general I thought I could manage the distance between my car and the store safely. I used to think my training was sufficient to insulate and protect me from what might befall me in war. I used to think my marriage was a sanctuary of love and fidelity through which the world could be engaged with excitement.

And then.......


I used to be single. I had lots of time, money, and the liberty to do whatever I wanted whenever I wanted.

And then......

 

[Josheb]

Welllll..... there's good trauma and bad trauma .


One of the simplest (and somewhat simplistic) definitions of trauma is any event that causes a sudden and dramatic change in the way the individual experiences the world. We thought the word was good and safe one moment, and the next it proved to be extremely unsafe and not good. Although I used to be wary of walking across the parking lot, in general I thought I could manage the distance between my car and the store safely. I used to think my training was sufficient to insulate and protect me from what might befall me in war. I used to think my marriage was a sanctuary of love and fidelity through which the world could be engaged with excitement.

And then.......


I used to be single. I had lots of time, money, and the liberty to do whatever I wanted whenever I wanted.

And then......

.....and now I am a much better person for having endured . Couldn't have done it without Jesus . He's the guy who brought that woman I wed and am marrying into my life . It was quite inconvenient at first .