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Just, Yet Merciful. A Loved One Dead —Heaven or Hell?

makesends

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Last night a very close and dear friend of mine died. She has been a bigger part of me than I had realized. It's going to take some getting used to.

For years I have been praying for her—even telling God to please send me to Hell in her place if necessary, though I knew it is a ridiculous notion. This morning when I heard she had died, one of my first thoughts was, "God, in a skinny minute I would go to hell in her place." Then it occurred to me, considering whether or not she was saved, that emotionally I am sure she is in Heaven now, cured, whole, better than new.

Intellectually on a human level, I'm not so sure; yet, I realized, intellectually as a believer, I AM sure, after all, because of our magnificent God. It is not because I know intellectually that he can or even has saved her, but because of him accomplishing all he had in mind concerning her, and concerning me. I KNOW of his love for me, and because I love her, of his love for her—of who she is, to HIM. On a human level, that is not sound reasoning. It has logical gaps. Yet, I have to admit it is far from merely emotional. Its logical gaps are filled for me, even though I can't put those things into words. I KNOW God is good, and just. His mercy is not only everlasting—It is full of purpose.

2 Samuel 12:23 "...I will go to him, but he will not return to me."

Hebrews 11:1 "Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen."
 
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I am sorry brother.

I truly understand this...
even telling God to please send me to Hell in her place if necessary
And have prayed that for my wife.

Grace and peace to you.
 
I am sorry brother.

I truly understand this...

And have prayed that for my wife.

Grace and peace to you.
Thank you, brother.

Funny thing, yesterday, because I really didn't want to take any calls and find my throat closing up on the words I would try to say, and didn't want to have to deal with all the well-wishers, I was texting everyone who would want to know about it. And as always, my phone kept spell-correcting wrong and substituting words and so on, and I was getting frustrated. I found myself thinking, "Will you for once at least have a little respect? Quit playing around! I'm grieving here!!!" Found it humorous that I should expect an inanimate object/(program) to behave differently just because I hadn't yet adapted to my new situation.
 
Romans 8:28 And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose.
 
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