Addiction

[Dave_Regenerated]

Unfortunately, I seem to have a problem with drinking alcohol regularly. There's so many components to this it's hard to pull the threads together. But I have a severe mental illness from an early age, which is difficult for me to to personally diagnose as to whether it is demonically related or an actual mental problem. It was brought on by drugs (Marijuana) that led to panic attacks which led to medications and the consuming of alcohol. It's been decades of nightly regular drinking (I never drink during the day) even after I was saved by God in 2014. I have long suspected a demonic element being involved since I was a young child up until the present. When I first became ill I was as white as a sheet with huge black sunken eyes and at that time I said I was possessed. Psychiatrists and psychologists were never of much help to me and after I was saved I learnt a lot about how their profession itself comes from demonic sources. I was put on medication I really didn't have a choice over because my panic was so severe and I was not allowed to take an anti-anxiety medication but substitute medications instead.

I have never heard internal voices. I also practised eastern meditation for many years before I was saved, and sometimes in the meditations or upon waking in the morning I would experience odd "voices" and hear laughter. I never saw anything. Outside of sleep and meditation I never heard any voices. After I was saved, I discovered that these entities upped their game and they tried to attack me in more severe ways, I even saw them with my eyes. I don't expect anybody to take these accounts seriously, only because I have been stigmatised with a mental label so why should anybody listen to me? I know spiritual warfare happens to Christians that have no mental problems, which makes it even worse when I come to a place like this that is supposed to be fellowship with other Christians and they basically may say I really do have a mental problem and its all fake or illness etc.

I have prayed every day for 9 years, sometimes sitting or laying down still for hours on end begging God to take my addictions away and nothing happens. I noted that James says that God will not answer the prayers of people that want to indulge in pleasures, so does God actually answer the prayers of people with addictions and takes them away or is it up to the person themselves to somehow break free in their own power? I have thought of everything and tried everything but I just cannot stop this behaviour.

I have to explain that I am really a bit of a hermit, house bound because I have paranoia (I also continue to and addicted to marijuana) and my body is started to show signs of wear and tear in various ways. I desperately need help, but I have never had a real job, I have no friends, I don't attend any church (that's because there's nothing near me I consider Biblical) I still live with my parents, my memory is badly affected so that it would be pointless trying to continue academic studying, and to top it all off, I honestly believe that people who are indwelt by demons are harassing me with various forms of vehical noise and sometimes when I do out some people behave in very odd ways around me. It makes me very scared, to the point I am just extremely confused about everything. I hate, hate, hate all of it. I am not suicidal, but I just want this evil world to end as soon as possible. I hate this world and I know it hates me.


I still sometimes think I could be demon possessed but of all the literature I have read on this subject (I am a book worm, I have read thousands of books) and through talking to other Christians, the majority view appears to be that it is no possible to be possessed if the Holy Spirit is inside a person, but they can be oppressed in various ways. I'm only confused because my spirit absolutely hates to sin (to drink, to smoke) but I am powerless to seemingly stop. I want out, and I want to be sober and healthy and study the Bible with a clear mind. I do not know what to do.

 

[Sereni-tea]

I am so sorry to hear about your struggles and think that you are amazing for opening up here about it all.

I cannot say whether what you are experience is mental issues or spiritual warfare or what. But I will encourage you to seek any medical treatment that you need.

Having said that, I understand how confusing and frustrating it is to pray and pray about something and God seems to not hear or not answer. God works in His own ways and we don't always understand what is happening or why. There are some Christians who are set free from their addictions on being saved and other who continue to struggle. Only God knows why this is.

I know you said that there is no church near you that you consider biblical, but it would be good if you had a Christian who would regularly meet with you and pray with you. Sometimes we need others to walk with us through our struggles - we can't do it alone. I am here for you, and will help in whatever way that I can, but obviously it is not the same as meeting with someone face-to-face.

I will encourage you to keep reading the Scriptures and keep praying and please know that I will be praying for you. May you know the love of God and may His peace which passes all understanding guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus.

 

[Dave_Regenerated]

I am so sorry to hear about your struggles and think that you are amazing for opening up here about it all.

I cannot say whether what you are experience is mental issues or spiritual warfare or what. But I will encourage you to seek any medical treatment that you need.

Having said that, I understand how confusing and frustrating it is to pray and pray about something and God seems to not hear or not answer. God works in His own ways and we don't always understand what is happening or why. There are some Christians who are set free from their addictions on being saved and other who continue to struggle. Only God knows why this is.

I know you said that there is no church near you that you consider biblical, but it would be good if you had a Christian who would regularly meet with you and pray with you. Sometimes we need others to walk with us through our struggles - we can't do it alone. I am here for you, and will help in whatever way that I can, but obviously it is not the same as meeting with someone face-to-face.

I will encourage you to keep reading the Scriptures and keep praying and please know that I will be praying for you. May you know the love of God and may His peace which passes all understanding guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus.

Thank you for your kind words.

I already have been on medication for 23 years.

My question is, does God actually intervene and somehow make a person stop having addictions? It doesn't seem to me that this is the case, despite coming across lots of "testimonies" that say it is. I do not think those persons are quite telling it like it is. Perhaps they lose the desire to consume drink or drugs but it still takes work to actually stop them.

I was put in contact with a Christian near me who attends Spurgeon's Metropolitan Tabernacle church. I have tried to interact with him through texting and email but he appears to be way too busy to respond. So that's not reliable.

I would like to read the Bible more, I really would, but I always read everything else, that is, Christian literature. I don't know why this is, but I do know that when I do read the Bible I get attacked spiritually more and more. It is very scary. I am not a MAN, more like a boy that never grew up. But demons are scary, no doubt about it. And of course I do pray, but it doesn't feel like it is genuine and coming from my inner heart. I suspect if I was filled with the spirit that would be different.

I experienced the peace of God that passes understanding when I was born again. It was the most extraordinary and beautiful thing, and it's never really left me, it's just kind of there in the background permanently.

 

[Sereni-tea]

Thank you for your kind words.

I already have been on medication for 23 years.

My question is, does God actually intervene and somehow make a person stop having addictions? It doesn't seem to me that this is the case, despite coming across lots of "testimonies" that say it is. I do not think those persons are quite telling it like it is. Perhaps they lose the desire to consume drink or drugs but it still takes work to actually stop them.

I don't know. God works in the way that is best to Him and in His timing. That is all I can say. I'm sorry I can't be more helpful.

I was put in contact with a Christian near me who attends Spurgeon's Metropolitan Tabernacle church. I have tried to interact with him through texting and email but he appears to be way too busy to respond. So that's not reliable.

I am sorry to hear that.

I would like to read the Bible more, I really would, but I always read everything else, that is, Christian literature. I don't know why this is, but I do know that when I do read the Bible I get attacked spiritually more and more. It is very scary. I am not a MAN, more like a boy that never grew up. But demons are scary, no doubt about it. And of course I do pray, but it doesn't feel like it is genuine and coming from my inner heart. I suspect if I was filled with the spirit that would be different.

Again it grieves me hear of your experiences. It is good that you pray.
Have some verses of Scripture that you can hold on to during those difficult and scary times.

When I was going through a difficult time I used Isaiah 43. It was a passage I kept coming back to time and time again because it brought me great comfort. Verses 1-7 talk about God's great love for His people. And then verses 10-13 talk about God, the One and Only; He alone is our powerful Saviour. Verses 16-21 talk about how God makes a way when there is no way. He makes a way in the widerness and streams in the desert. This is the awesome power of the God that we put our trust in.

I experienced the peace of God that passes understanding when I was born again. It was the most extraordinary and beautiful thing, and it's never really left me, it's just kind of there in the background permanently.

That is wonderful that God's peace is with you. Cling to that and trust Him. I continue to pray for you.

 

[Ritajanice]

I’ve had an addiction, I don’t have it now, it didn’t go after I became Born Again, not straight away anyway....I believe I have been set free from its grip and power that it had over my mind....I think the renewing of our minds play an important part, plus I had to go back and visit my childhood, the root cause and source of my addiction.

Once I understood why I went through what I went through, I could then start to move on, it was extremely painful, but my past had to be faced, you can’t bury it and keep it buried once you become Born Again......God wants to heal us from all of this emotional pain ...anxiety gripped me so much, I had to be heavily medicated....or I too would drink, to relax myself....

Not sure if this helps you Dave, as you are not alone..praying for you, trust in God, he’s most definitely there in the situation with you....even though it may not feel like it....I too used to cry out to God...to help me overcome my addiction...God Bless Brother.

 

[Dave_Regenerated]

I’ve had an addiction, I don’t have it now, it didn’t go after I became Born Again, not straight away anyway....I believe I have been set free from its grip and power that it had over my mind....I think the renewing of our minds play an important part, plus I had to go back and visit my childhood, the root cause and source of my addiction.

Once I understood why I went through what I went through, I could then start to move on, it was extremely painful, but my past had to be faced, you can’t bury it and keep it buried once you become Born Again......God wants to heal us from all of this emotional pain ...anxiety gripped me so much, I had to be heavily medicated....or I too would drink, to relax myself....

Not sure if this helps you Dave, as you are not alone..praying for you, trust in God, he’s most definitely there in the situation with you....even though it may not feel like it....I too used to cry out to God...to help me overcome my addiction...God Bless Brother.

Yes, I took to drink because of anxiety. I started to have a panic attack out of the blue, and my Dad said I should have a drink to calm down. As he himself was a nightly drinker (though not alcoholic really) he must have known it can relax you. So the next day all the issues came up again once I woke up and I felt even worse, this is how it was perpetuated and became a habit. I was never treated with anti-anxiety medication so the doctors gave me different medications.

One day some short time after that, I had such a severe panic attack I believe I nearly came to dying. I started to hyperventilate and I could feel blood or energy retiring from my fingers, hands and forearms and they became paralysed while I was talking on the phone to my psychiatrist. It just so happens that my sister came into the house at the same time and I was advised to breathe into a paper bag which she held up to my mouth and nose so that the blood chemicals inside me came back into balance. I felt the blood or nerve energy return back into my hands. The psychiatrist sent 2 emergency doctors with Valium to my house. I told the valium and the relief was immense. When the Valium would wear off the panic came back very strongly. I was told I couldn't have Valium because it was dangerous so I had to wait 2 weeks until the other medication started to work.

So I basically have a chronic panic disorder that my medication covers over or suppresses.

As to childhood traumas and ideas like that, I had a happy childhood more or less. I was normal. It was when I got into smoking pot around the age of 13 that things went wrong. I don't really believe in the idea that we have to go back to our childhoods to uncover bad memories and then have an abreactive experience to deal with them. That might work for some people. The brain is incredibly complex and we are all different with different triggers and emotional problems etc. There's lots of people that end up strung out on drugs who came from happy homes. The addictions take over and destroys their lives.

My basic problem was that through getting paranoid from Marijuana, I started to believe that I was special in some way, because I started to experience very strange coincidences all the time. To this day, I still experience that. There are things that happen I really cannot explain, though I have tried my best. Chiefly, it consists of the idea that we can think certain thoughts and later on we experience the same idea in some other way, whether it's by looking at any type of media or interacting with other people, or even certain objects you see on the street etc. My question is, how can our minds be interacting directly by thought with the external world in that fashion? It bugs me to death. I don't know why it happens to me and I want it to go away. There was a time when I was young when this type of stuff never happened to me. In short, I came to believe that I was actually God. Through all the interacting coincidences and the confusion this type of mindset can create, I am astonished I am still alive. I really should have died by now, the pressure, the dread is so intense.

My salvation experience was literally saving - I came to see that I was NOT God, because God somehow communicated to me (not with audible words - it was dead silence) through feeling His Holy Presence and some visionary phenomena (exceedingly intense bright white light that filled my vision while my eyes were still open) how tiny I was in comparison to Him - I actually had the thought I felt like a WORM, I was so tiny and so small (later I read in the Bible that this idea of us being like worms to God confirmed my experience which I did not read before) and in this state of comparison I was shown my sin nature too. Now, I usually don't share my testimony of this, because it's like pearls before swine and on more than one occasion I have had people dismiss it due to my mental illness, but how can a person who is unfamiliar with the Bible experience such a Biblical type of Revelation in all its details, and have some kind of knowledge of SIN if such an experience comes from a deranged brain hallucinating, and that it only happened once in my entire life and has never happened since? If it wasn't real but the product of the brain, and a product of a brain that is like mine, shouldn't I be having that type of experience almost all the time, before and after that? It's impossible. Therefore, I conclude that God is real, that I was regenerated and have the Holy Spirit, and that I am NOT God. One more thing - why would a schizophrenic brain concoct a delusion or hallucination that is the OPPOSITE of that condition? You see why I hate atheists, right?

 

[Dave_Regenerated]

I’ve had an addiction, I don’t have it now, it didn’t go after I became Born Again, not straight away anyway....I believe I have been set free from its grip and power that it had over my mind....I think the renewing of our minds play an important part, plus I had to go back and visit my childhood, the root cause and source of my addiction.

Once I understood why I went through what I went through, I could then start to move on, it was extremely painful, but my past had to be faced, you can’t bury it and keep it buried once you become Born Again......God wants to heal us from all of this emotional pain ...anxiety gripped me so much, I had to be heavily medicated....or I too would drink, to relax myself....

Not sure if this helps you Dave, as you are not alone..praying for you, trust in God, he’s most definitely there in the situation with you....even though it may not feel like it....I too used to cry out to God...to help me overcome my addiction...God Bless Brother.

Sounds like God helped you to overcome your addictions by Renewal and regeneration. I suppose the reason this didn't happen to me is because I have an erratic brain. I can tell you this though; I felt so rejuvenated it reminded me of a similar state of consciousness I had in my childhood, and the next day when I went to the fridge to look for something to eat I decided to eat a cherry tomato by itself and it tasted delicious! I do not, and never have, liked tomatoes all on their own. Everything to me felt really fresh and new.

I want to try to go back into my past to see if there is anything I can uncover to help me understand what is happening to me. I have done my best in that regard, and I cannot come up with any reasons. It seems like there are no reasons. However, perhaps there are spiritual reasons. My family on one side were involved with seances and channelling and psychic things. On the other side of the family, there is Indian influence. I was born with a birth mark and when I was 4 years old I was attacked by a demonic spirit. Nobody in my entire family has a mental illness except me.

Thank you for your prayers. That is much appreciated. I do trust in God, of course. At least He has cured my God complex (which, if we are all honest around here, unregenerate people all seem to have that, stemming as it does from the Fall and Satan's lies) so I am at least half sane!

 

[Ritajanice]

When you say erratic brain, do you mean an erratic mindset?

 

[Dave_Regenerated]

When you say erratic brain, do you mean an erratic mindset?

I just mean chaotic, whether you want to say it is the brain or the mind. I prefer to use brain because I am not just a piece of tissue, I am a soul and mind and my mind is usually okay but oftentimes there is some distress., confusion and lots of questions. If I can blame it on my brain that is fine.

 

[Marilyn C]

......
I still sometimes think I could be demon possessed but of all the literature I have read on this subject (I am a book worm, I have read thousands of books) and through talking to other Christians, the majority view appears to be that it is no possible to be possessed if the Holy Spirit is inside a person, but they can be oppressed in various ways. I'm only confused because my spirit absolutely hates to sin (to drink, to smoke) but I am powerless to seemingly stop.

I want out, and I want to be sober and healthy and study the Bible with a clear mind. I do not know what to do.

Hi Dave,

So glad to hear you say that. Now, you are not demon possessed, however you have given `legal` access to the demons of alcohol and drugs. You did that by an act of your will. You gave that area of your life over to them. Thus, it has to be by an act of your will that you `legally` take that control away from those demons. I will suggest some steps for you as a guide to help you.

1. Acknowledge - that you gave your will over in those areas of alcohol and drugs.

2. Repent - Knee before God, (always good to physically humble ourselves) and say that you repent of giving your will over to alcohol and drugs.

3. Ask for forgiveness - Thank the Lord for His great sacrifice for your sins by dying on the cross and shedding His precious blood, which has the power over the demons. Ask Him for forgiveness for giving over your will to alcohol and drugs,

4. Receive - His forgiveness and thank the Lord for His great mercy.

As you go about your daily life the demons will try and make you think that you have not been forgiven or that you are still under their control. However, keep looking to the Lord and pleading the precious blood of Jesus and the `fire and temptations` will become less.

praying for you through this, Marilyn.