Luke 17:
You can wait until he repents, but you don't have to. Note that Jesus did not say that if your brother did not repent, don't forgive him. While on the cross, Luke 23:
But what is clear is what Jesus
did say. And this is important than what He
didn't say for to come to a conclusion based on what He didn't say is dangerous and foolish.
This is extremely important.
22 And Samuel said,
Hath the LORD as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices,
As in
obeying the voice of the LORD?
Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice,
And to hearken than the fat of rams.
23 For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft,
And stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry.
1 Sa 15:21–23.
If we make doctrine or conform our behavior based on what God or His Christ
didn't say we can quickly reach conclusions that are not clearly revealed by the voice/word of God and Christ. Can we do this? Yes. Should we do this? NO!
Obedience to God does not rest on anything God
didn't say. Obedience to God rests upon what God
does say and we do not have leave nor permission to make conclusions or assumptions of what God
didn't say and then obey that. Is this the true biblical dynamic concerning obedience? No, it is not. So, let's focus on what God or Christ
did say:
3
Take heed to yourselves: If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him.
Lk 17:2–3.
Why the command to "
take heed to yourselves?" Why would Jesus say this before the main thrust of His instruction on what to do when a brother '
trespass' against you? Simple. It is because Jesus is drawing a roadmap for us to implement that is likewise the same as what God does, and as Christians, we must all see the same Jesus and say the same thing as God. To do otherwise is to oppose Him. We have clear instruction and command from Scripture on how to order our lives. It is based upon the
revealed Word of God. When we venture beyond what God has revealed through positive revelation of His Word and will then we lean upon our own understanding in the vanity of our minds and can end up doing and saying things God did not do or say Himself.
Here is an example of seeking God's will in a matter when to our understanding the answer may seem quite obvious although there is no clear directive from God:
8 And when the Philistines heard that David was anointed king over all Israel, all the Philistines went up to seek David. And David heard of it, and went out against them.
9 And the Philistines came and spread themselves in the valley of Rephaim.
10 And David inquired of God, saying, Shall I go up against the Philistines? and wilt thou deliver them into mine hand? And the LORD said unto him, Go up; for I will deliver them into thine hand. 1 Ch 14:8–10.
It would appear the Philistines are preparing for battle. Upon hearing David, who as a young lad slew one of the Philistines champions (Goliath) has now become a king in all Israel that revenge may be the reason of their actions of gathering in the valley of Rephaim. It is clear the Philistines are cruising for a bruising and there is no doubt in David this is the case. Many battles have been fought in this valley and David could have reasoned to go out because "God didn't say
not to." But David inquired from the Lord to
be sure. He didn't proceed on the assumption based upon what was before him (an army) and David didn't conclude that "based upon what the Lord
didn't say that David should go meet up with them in that valley. Notice the question was also, "wilt thou deliver them into mine hand?" which was the deciding factor as to whether he should fight, BUT will I win. So, it is very important not that a particular course of action is wanting, but whether such course will further the Lord's will. His REVEALED will.
You also said:
Peter was inquisitive and wanted to know more, Matthew 18:
Jesus proceeded to tell the Parable of the Unforgiving Servant who refused to forgive his brother:
What if the brother refuses to acknowledge his offense against you?
And then what? By not acknowledging one's sin upon his brother and repenting then no change has occurred, and the brother will repeat his offense. And in this situation do I continue to submit the Holy Spirit in me to my brother's offenses? Is it right to continually submit the Holy Spirit in me to my brother's offenses and continually be grieved by my brother's offenses? At what point does wisdom kick in and I realize, "What's wrong with this brother? Why does he continue to sin and fail by being obedient to the Lord?" And this is not a trivial offense, but an actual sin found violating God's Law/Word. How can our fellowship grow if I am repeatedly offended and my brother refuses to acknowledge his sin and repent (not do it again.)
See
How to resolve conflicts among Christians?.
In any case, we should always have a forgiving heart.
Correct. But only when the offending party acknowledges their offense and repents. Repentance is key to forgiveness.
Paul summarized it nicely in Ephesians 4:
Colossians 3:
Forgiveness is a group thing. You may have inadvertently offended your brother at times. Be quick to forgive one another.
Proverbs 17:
ibid.
Do we have to forgive blindly?
You don't have to. However, it is wise to forgive even if someone does not repent. Do yourself a favor: forgive and set yourself free to love.
Again, the key to forgiveness is acknowledging your sin/offense and repenting (not do it again.)
The Father forgives you
iff you forgive others.
There is
no free lunch in repentance and forgiveness.
When do we forgive?
You are doing yourself a favor when you do. You are hurting yourself when you don't. You choose when.
And yet the Father does not forgive a sinner until there is acknowledgment of sin/offense and repentance. And isn't that the order of not only salvation but relationship? God does not have positive relationship with an unrepentant sinner or offender. Because of sin and trespass the person is separated from God. The same occurs when a brother sins/offends, doesn't acknowledge their sin/offense, and continues in such a sin or offense. How can our fellowship grow? And that is the revealed will of God that we grow. And it is also the will of Christ as well.
If God doesn't forgive sin and offenses to His Word (and all sin is against Him), He doesn't forgive.
But among believers who have the Holy Spirit of Promise dwelling in them a brother that sins against you have already had their sin(s) atoned and addressed on Calvary. Relationship with God is restored. But sin continues in the fellowship in Christ. Such sin doesn't affect salvation, but it does relationships. Unrepentant sin or offenses against another brother breaches the relationship, the Spirit is grieved, and the revealed will of God is that whosoever sins has an Advocate and ultimately at some appointed time as a brother's sin fills up, there will be a day of reckoning and that brethren will repent, but until that day, I cannot have fellowship with that brother because evil communication corrupts good manners and I, myself, need to protect myself from a sinning brother and sin in the camp.
Sinning occurs immediately. Repentance on our level, takes time in which forgiveness is withheld until repentance occurs and such repentance needs be tested before a brother is confronted (Matt. 18:15), he acknowledges his sin, asks forgiveness and I forgive, and relationship is restored. The withholding of forgiveness is key towards a brother's repentance.
In our witness to unbelievers, we explain that their unrepentant sin is what separates them from relationship with God. The same dynamic among brethren separates us from each other and I don't forgive a brother each time he sins and asks forgiveness, and then without fruits worthy of repentance forgive and setting myself up to continued sin. There must be fruits worthy of repentance and fruit requires time, good soil (heart), sunshine, watering by the Word, and fruit-testing before I forgive and eat (fellowship.) A brother must see their sin has caused a breach in fellowship between us for in their heart of hearts, a heart worked upon by the Spirit, they will repent because that is the revealed will of God, and the will of God is restoration. I don't proceed in my walk based upon what the Lord
didn't say. I move about and have my being based upon what the Lord
did say.
No two can walk together lest they be agreed.
