Things you heard in church that made you duck fearing a lightning strike or a pillar of flame.

[CrazyCalvinistUncle]

Now like all things humorous there is at least some truth in the story. So this is for Crow...He seems to have a bit of a cringe fest to tell about.

How about you?

Be nice.

 

[CrazyCalvinistUncle]

@CrowCross

 

[CrowCross]

Now like all things humorous there is at least some truth in the story. So this is for Crow...He seems to have a bit of a cringe fest to tell about.

How about you?

Be nice.

We once has a female assistant pastor...who stood in the front of the church...raised her arms in the air and formed a triangle with her index fingers and thumbs. Then said something like..."pull the light through the triangle".

On a less serious note...we got a new pastor and on his first Sunday he stepped from behind the pulpit and walked to the front of the stage to give his message.....I think some of the older folk gasped....as that's not where you're supposed to preach from.....get back behind the pulpit where you belong.

 

[CrazyCalvinistUncle]

We once has a female assistant pastor...who stood in the front of the church...raised her arms in the air and formed a triangle with her index fingers and thumbs. Then said something like..."pull the light through the triangle".

 

[Deleted member 6]

I was told this is a true story from numerous ppl, though I was not personally there.

I used to attend the Old Regular Baptists. Most still hold to the custom of having church one weekend a month (business meeting Saturday with some singing and preaching involved as well) and Sunday was their regular worship service. They do this so they can visit other churches in their association the other weeks of the month. Seeing they do this, most (those who have their own lunchroom) have dinner after service. Usually, when the last preacher is preaching to close the service, some of the Sisters go to the lunchroom to get the dinner ready. One Sunday a preacher was up preaching and I guess he could smell the chicken in the air, and when he quoted Job, he said "Man is born of a woman, but a few days and full of chicken."

 

[CrowCross]

Now like all things humorous there is at least some truth in the story. So this is for Crow...He seems to have a bit of a cringe fest to tell about.

How about you?

Be nice.

I came across this article...
A Lutheran female “minister” has gone viral for reciting a heretical “Sparkle Creed” as part of a recent church service.

The Edina Community Lutheran Church (ECLC) “minister,” Anna Helgen, led the congregation in the “creed”:
I believe in the non-binary God whose pronouns are plural. I believe in Jesus Christ, their child who wore a fabulous tunic and had two dads and saw everyone as a sibling-child of God.

I believe in the rainbow spirit who shatters our image of one white light and refracts it into a rainbow of gorgeous diversity. I believe in the church of everyday saints as numerous, creative, and resilient as patches on the AIDS quilt, whose feet are grounded in mud and whose eyes gaze at the stars in wonder. I believe in the calling to each of us that love is love is love is love, so beloved let us love. I believe glorious God help my unbelief.

 

[CrazyCalvinistUncle]

I came across this article...
A Lutheran female “minister” has gone viral for reciting a heretical “Sparkle Creed” as part of a recent church service.

The Edina Community Lutheran Church (ECLC) “minister,” Anna Helgen, led the congregation in the “creed”:
I believe in the non-binary God whose pronouns are plural. I believe in Jesus Christ, their child who wore a fabulous tunic and had two dads and saw everyone as a sibling-child of God.

I believe in the rainbow spirit who shatters our image of one white light and refracts it into a rainbow of gorgeous diversity. I believe in the church of everyday saints as numerous, creative, and resilient as patches on the AIDS quilt, whose feet are grounded in mud and whose eyes gaze at the stars in wonder. I believe in the calling to each of us that love is love is love is love, so beloved let us love. I believe glorious God help my unbelief.

Oh my...um...yep. That qualifies as something that induces ducking. Wowzers!

 

[prism]

The Edina Community Lutheran Church (ECLC) “minister,” Anna Helgen,

At first I thought ECLC was a typo for ELCA, but maybe not?...

Staff & Leadership | EDINA COMMUNITY LUTHERAN CHURCH

(back to the humorous topic at hand.)