Greetings brothers and sisters

[ElectedbyHim]

Just wanted to introduce myself to everyone. My name is Jeff and I am a 57 years old and have been in the Hospitality/ food service industry for 41 years and my title is Exceutive Chef.

I have lived a life of wretchedness and depravity until around 2004 when I was in prison where the Lord regenerated me.

The main goal of my life in all I do, is to bring glory to God, the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

I am about 90% Reformed/Calvinsit in my theology, but I do not label myself as one. I say 90% because I am not settled in my mind on eschatology. In all honesty, I never found great intrest in eschatology. I do understand that it is important for a full understanding of systematic theology, I just am not there yet. I also do not hold to the doctrine of paedobaptism.

My favorite areas of study is Theology Proper, Christology, Pneumatology, Soteriology, Anthropology and Hamartiology. I add that I cannot have enough reading material on God's sovereignty, providence and decrees.

Focus has always been the ongoing process of sanctification. Romans 7:14ff is my daily battle and it can be very frustrating at times. There are days that you just want to give up, but Holy Spirit keeps you going.

The only hate and enemy I have is sin and my flesh.

From day one I have prayed for the Lord to show me His truth, I never asked for material wealth or status in life. I just want His truth. I am certain there is a flaw in my theology, I just am not sure where.

I have always been a loner in life and I am still trying to break out of that shell. Having tried to get involved in many churches never worked out and I am certain it weas due to my pride Arminian teachings that prevail in many churches.

There is so much error in so-called Christianity today that it turns my stomach. Pentecostal/charismaniac teaching lead the way from what I am seeing.

It is a great need in the church today that we defend the faith that we have we received from our Lord.

I am very grateful that the Lord gave me the opportunity to be part of this forum where I can be part of like-minded people.

Grace and peace to you.

 

[DialecticSkeptic]

Welcome to the forums, mate. Nice to have you. And thank you for explaining the course of your spiritual and theological journey.

1. You mentioned being incarcerated in 2004. Would you be open to sharing how long that season lasted? Judging by the tone of your writing, it sounds like it had a significant impact on your life (e.g., "still trying to break out of that shell").

2. I ask because I'm genuinely curious about the point during that time when your encounter with God occurred.

3. How would you describe yourself before 2004? Did you see yourself as an atheist, or something else?

4. Are you part of a church community? If not, do you have a place where you gather for worship and fellowship?

 

[Tambora]

@ElectedbyHim

Welcome, and thanks for the info on your thoughts.

My main objective in bible study at the moment is to first get really familiar with all the many fascinating stories and characters it has.
My focus lately has been to explore what the ancients living in that era thought about it instead of what modern day man thinks about it.
And boy oh boy, did they have a lot of thoughts on those stories!

 

[ElectedbyHim]

Welcome to the forums, mate. Nice to have you. And thank you for explaining the course of your spiritual and theological journey.

1. You mentioned being incarcerated in 2004. Would you be open to sharing how long that season lasted? Judging by the tone of your writing, it sounds like it had a significant impact on your life (e.g., "still trying to break out of that shell").

2. I ask because I'm genuinely curious about the point during that time when your encounter with God occurred.

3. How would you describe yourself before 2004? Did you see yourself as an atheist, or something else?

4. Are you part of a church community? If not, do you have a place where you gather for worship and fellowship?

You mentioned being incarcerated in 2004. Would you be open to sharing how long that season lasted? Judging by the tone of your writing, it sounds like it had a significant impact on your life (e.g., "still trying to break out of that shell").

It was only 6 months. I have been in and out of jail in my teens, 20s' and 30's as well.

I would not say that I am still trying to break out of that shell. Being in the penitentary was very eye opening and there is a certain fear.

This is where the Lord choce to regenerate me and show me howe to trust in Him alone and have no fear of what man can do to me.

I ask because I'm genuinely curious about the point during that time when your encounter with God occurred.

All I can tell you is that I was in a cell by myself reading the Psalms, Ibelieve it was Psalm 62 maybe, the write was talking about God being His rock. I think it was at that time that I was regenerated. I began singing extremely loud, amazing grace. Mind you there is a huge echo in a cell block and you can hear people talk a long ways off. I know I was singing off key and di not care. This peace and joy filled me and I wanted to dedicate my life and know my Lord more.

I just remember confessing a life worth of sin. I have several composition notebooks that I wrote in confessing sins and what I have done to people in life. I still have them and may revisit them as some point.

How would you describe yourself before 2004? Did you see yourself as an atheist, or something else?

I always believed in God, was it the true God, I am not certain. I always knew Jesus was God come in the flesah and born of a virigin.

I was raised Roman Catholic and was a alter boy and went to a Catholic school at a very young age. I remeber going to Earnest Ainsleys church in Akron, Ohio as a child. After mt dad left in my early teens, my mon would take a to many different denomination churches. Pentecost/charismmatic, fire and brimstone Baptist, lutheran, even a jewish temple at one point.

Mom always preached at us with a Bible in one hand and there was much phyiscal abuse and other stuff going on at the time.

I never was an atheist, I knew God existed and not like I know Him now. I will tell you I have always questioned if I was really regenerated in that prison cell or at a really young age. I just do not know.

Are you part of a church community? If not, do you have a place where you gather for worship and fellowship?

This has always been the hard part for me as a loner and very independant.

There have been multiple times in my Christian life I was going to church. My pride always got in the way because I always knew the Pastor was teaching against the word, or I tried to get involved and it just never happened or I had bouts of rebellion (sin) in my life where I just quit going.

In the last few years I was attending Alistair begg's church Parkside. I tried to get biblical counciling, join Bible studies or just get involved in the homeless ministry, but it never worked out.

Last summer I found a Reformed baptist church right up the street and started going there but eventually stopped going.

Edit to say that I believe it to be sin to not be a member in a church serving others and partaking in the Lord's supper.

I spend a lot of time in the written word of God, more than most people do, because it is my passion and I need Him.

My wife claims to be a Christian but wants nothing to do with reading the word, studying going to church and giving back to God.

This is a huge burden at times because we are not like minded in anyway. I love her and just keep praying for her. Her influence on me can be cumbersome to say the least. Nevertheless, I will never blame her for my downfalls in this life. I take full responsibility.

There is a lot of things that happened to me as a child into my early teens by family and I know that it affects me to this day. Things that would people in jail.

One thing is for sure is that this is my lot in life and the Lord has brought me this far.

The only thing I regret in life is my sin.

God has ordered every day of my life even before birth and I would not want any other life but the one He made for me.

Grace and peace to you

 

[Dave]

Hey Jeff

Alistair Begg once said, that every believer needs to spend some time in the belly of the fish to be of any use for the Kingdom. That saying always stuck with me. The longer that I live, the more profound it becomes.

Good to see you here, Bro. Seems we made the same Exodus.

Dave

 

[ElectedbyHim]

Hey Jeff

Alistair Begg once said, that every believer needs to spend some time in the belly of the fish to be of any use for the Kingdom. That saying always stuck with me. The longer that I live, the more profound it becomes.

Good to see you here, Bro. Seems we made the same Exodus.

Dave

Indeed.

 

[DialecticSkeptic]

Brother, thank you for sharing so honestly with us. That kind of transparency takes courage, and it's clear that the Lord is doing a deep work in your life. I can see his hand in your journey—from that prison cell where you first tasted true freedom to your hunger for his word even now. It is a testimony of his grace. And I just love the picture of you singing "Amazing Grace" at the top of your lungs, off-key and all! Those moments of overwhelming peace and joy—it's something only the Spirit of God can bring. And whether that was the moment of your regeneration or it was earlier, the fruit of his grace is evident. He has held you through it all, even through the wounds of your past.

I can hear the weight you carry, especially regarding your wife and your longing to see her share in the joy you have found in Christ. That is a hard road, brother, but I admire your commitment to loving her faithfully. I truly believe that a man who leads his home with Christ-like love, taking full responsibility as you are, will have an impact—even if it's slow and unseen. Have you found subtle ways to influence her? Saying grace before meals, reading your Bible in her presence, or letting Christian music fill your home? Not in a forceful way, but as a natural overflow of your love for God?

And when it comes to church, I can tell that you want to be deeply connected—but something always seems to hold you back. When you say things "never worked out" at Parkside, what did that look like? Did you feel unseen, unheard, or that doors weren't opening for you? I know it's a megachurch. (I used to listen to Alistair Begg's program, Truth For Life, regularly on Sirius XM.) And with the Reformed Baptist church, what led you to eventually stop going?

You're absolutely right that being a committed member of a church is part of God's design—and not just for accountability, but also because the body of Christ needs you as much as you need it! I would encourage you to press in—despite past frustrations, despite the pride that wants to critique every sermon. What do you think would help you stay rooted this time?

Brother, I just want to encourage you—God isn't done with you. And I think you know that and feel it. He has placed this hunger in you for a reason. Keep pressing into him, keep leading in your home with sacrificial love, and don't let past disappointments keep you from the community and service you were made for.

 

[ElectedbyHim]

Brother, thank you for sharing so honestly with us. That kind of transparency takes courage, and it's clear that the Lord is doing a deep work in your life. I can see his hand in your journey—from that prison cell where you first tasted true freedom to your hunger for his word even now. It is a testimony of his grace. And I just love the picture of you singing "Amazing Grace" at the top of your lungs, off-key and all! Those moments of overwhelming peace and joy—it's something only the Spirit of God can bring. And whether that was the moment of your regeneration or it was earlier, the fruit of his grace is evident. He has held you through it all, even through the wounds of your past.

I can hear the weight you carry, especially regarding your wife and your longing to see her share in the joy you have found in Christ. That is a hard road, brother, but I admire your commitment to loving her faithfully. I truly believe that a man who leads his home with Christ-like love, taking full responsibility as you are, will have an impact—even if it's slow and unseen. Have you found subtle ways to influence her? Saying grace before meals, reading your Bible in her presence, or letting Christian music fill your home? Not in a forceful way, but as a natural overflow of your love for God?

And when it comes to church, I can tell that you want to be deeply connected—but something always seems to hold you back. When you say things "never worked out" at Parkside, what did that look like? Did you feel unseen, unheard, or that doors weren't opening for you? I know it's a megachurch. (I used to listen to Alistair Begg's program, Truth For Life, regularly on Sirius XM.) And with the Reformed Baptist church, what led you to eventually stop going?

You're absolutely right that being a committed member of a church is part of God's design—and not just for accountability, but also because the body of Christ needs you as much as you need it! I would encourage you to press in—despite past frustrations, despite the pride that wants to critique every sermon. What do you think would help you stay rooted this time?

Brother, I just want to encourage you—God isn't done with you. And I think you know that and feel it. He has placed this hunger in you for a reason. Keep pressing into him, keep leading in your home with sacrificial love, and don't let past disappointments keep you from the community and service you were made for.

Thank you for your kind words in love and encouragement, they were much needed right now at this time in my life.

I am an open book with those that I perceive as like minded, and after reading many different threads on this site. I knew I was in the right place. The Lord used @fastfredy0 to bring me here and I consider him a great brother in Christ.

Have you found subtle ways to influence her? Saying grace before meals, reading your Bible in her presence, or letting Christian music fill your home? Not in a forceful way, but as a natural overflow of your love for God?

Yes, we will talk now and then about the Lord, She was baptised at Parkside by Alistair. I try to live holy in this household abd do what is right in the eyes of the Lord. It is extremely dificult to have a relationship with someone who has their own idea of who God is.

My wife sees me reading God's word. theology and on the Christian boards on a daily. She knows my struggle with sin and how I grieve over it. She knows when I am not pleaseing God in my life and I make these things known to her. I come to her when I have wronged her and let her know it was a sin. I have deep rooted convictions from Holy Spirt from His word and I know she just does not "get it" I truly try to let Holy Spirit dwell in me richly by lettinf His word control me.

It is a challenge to love someone who does not know the Lord of the Bible. I try to always do this in action and words. Lord knows that I want to love my wife like He loved the church and laid His life down for it.

I will be persistent (importunity) in prayer for her and exercise patients.

When you say things "never worked out" at Parkside, what did that look like?

Seems like work always got in the way, doors did not open for me.

Did you feel unseen, unheard, or that doors weren't opening for you? I know it's a megachurch.

Yes definitley. Any planned contact with the men never happened, something always came up.

Huge crowd. I stated earlier I was a loner, I amt rying to break out of that.

And with the Reformed Baptist church, what led you to eventually stop going?

I am not quite certain. I told the Pastor when I met him I needed accountability. Started going to their monthly mens Bible studies. I just did not "feel" part of this. I went through a bout of sin after that and not proud of saying this. I think I let my tainted emotions and feelings guide me away.

What do you think would help you stay rooted this time?

That is the question is it not?

I lack accountability, I never had in in my life. That is my challenge or sin.

Grace and peace to you.

 

[Grumix88]

Hello and welcome, working hard is good and your a good man. We need more people had to go for sometimes. And work but good things have been giving a bless for me ;D.

 

[ElectedbyHim]

Hello and welcome, working hard is good and your a good man. We need more people had to go for sometimes. And work but good things have been giving a bless for me ;D.

Thank you but only Jesus is good.