Can A Person Be a Monergist and a Synergist At the Same Time? Can One Be Neither?

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Well if your a natural man one second. not able to make a decision because you can not uderstand anythi8ng.

To being born again the next second. and at the same time, have faith to be justified by faith (it is all at the same time) then how else would I see it?

Maybe what you are seeing is incorrect. You are determining what God needs to do, and what needs to happen, and what you need to do, (choose) in order for you to be saved. I readily admit that is because of the reading of the word. We are justified by faith. Salvation comes by grace, through faith. But this idea of "choosing whether to accept or reject the offer of salvation" has precluded your ability to see it any way but the way in which you do see it. (It causes much confusion, in many places, even when the person does not know they are confused. If many people over many posts have pointed out the same thing, and shown why, it would seem that, instead of claiming no one understands them, is attacking them, is only giving the definitions of an "ism" etc. they might consider that maybe the shortcoming is not in the other people, but they are actually doing/saying what has been pointed out. And thankfully having had light shown on the matter, attempt to do better.)

When it comes to regeneration, it is something done by God in us, that turns us towards him in trust, instead of our natural state of being turned away from him. He destroys the enmity that resides in our hearts. Sometimes all at once. Sometimes through a process over time---preparing the soil for the seed. But always in the best and perfect way, for his purposes and suited perfectly to the individual.

What is certain is that also at the right and perfect time, the gospel is heard and believed. And if it is believed, by the work and grace of God in us, there is no possibility of it merely being offered and a choice by us to reject the offer being made. The believing sets the person firmly, irrevocably in Christ as Christ's own. But that is because the bad soil of man's natural heart in Adam, has been made ready, by God, no matter if it is heard and believed in an instant upon hearing it or later while he takes the person through some things---such wrestling match for example as the one you described in your case. Faith is already there. It simply may not yet have been attached specifically to the person and work of Christ, for whatever reason, and that is hidden in God. The confession in our hearts to his person and work is the point where one is actually placed in him and justified. Now, this last may meet with disagreement from others who are like minded in Reformed theology, and that disagreement may be very well warranted. It is just my thinking on the matter and not something even I consider as set in stone.