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A Plea for Help and Advice

Arial

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I am not sure if this post belongs in this section or in "Other".

It concerns my youngest sister who came to Christ through an altar call many years ago. By that I am simply stating that she made a confession of faith through that means. There is a personality type involved here as well as life experience that always causes her to ask the big unanswerable questions and then question herself because she has these questions. At the same time, those questions in her mind are based on utterly human perceptions of justice, mercy, fair etc. The questions cannot be fully answered by theology, those things that are hidden in God, and that are beyond the human mind to grasp, and that on the surface are very uncomfortable to look at. The wars and killing God called for in the OT, the slaughter of animals, the judgment to come, "good" people being sent to hell.

Through faith and pursuit of God in his word---growth iow---we come to understand or at least accept these things theologically. Here I need to include a bit of backstory.

My sister, like me and my other two siblings, were brought to Christ through the "free choice" and Dispensational pov. My brother was the first to be introduced to Calvinism ( and I use that term here because his eschatological view remained loyal to a pre-trib rapture though I think that was as far as his dispensational view went.) It was all that was ever presented to him but the full Dispensational framework I don't think was ever in his vocabulary. It certainly was not in mine. And I became Covenant framework (Reformed) after he had passed. My older sister wants nothing to do with it either way. She is "free will choice" and Charismatic.

I said all that to say this: My brother had talked to her a little about the DoG prior to his death. I don't know how deeply. But she inherited all his many books on the subject. I already had them. So, she has a hit and miss awareness of the concept of election and predestination.

This sister reads the Bible sporadically and by way of isolated texts. There was a long period of time when she was going through a terrible time and even alienated herself from everyone but my brother but that was dissolved (and I use that term deliberately instead of resolved) and healed on the day of my brother's burial six years ago. Another story and not relevant here.

Now, she is questioning her salvation, but she does it from the approach of lack of knowledge. It presents in this manner: What if when you die and thought you were saved you discovered that you were not one of the elect, and the "Lord, Lord didn't we..." and he answered, "I do not know you." applied to you. She compares herself also with the conversations that she has had with my brother and I which she sees as us knowing so much more than she does and her lack of being in that same place or having not been in that same pursuit, as possible evidence of not being one of the elect.

Since she is asking questions that are answered somewhere along the path of theological knowledge gained, and wanting the conclusion, it is very difficult to know how to respond or where to start. I can give her the conclusion, but it leaves all the theological groundwork undone, therefore still doesn't answer any of the questions. The groundwork has to start at the beginning and be taught.

Well, I know that the groundwork is not necessary for salvation. And I also know my sister and myself. She is made by God one way for his purposes, and I am made another way for his purposes. I have a bent towards pursuing, and pursuing, and pursuing---knowledge and understanding in the things of God. She does not. One is not better than the other, just different. She just wants the bottom line and unfortunately, also a clear-cut assurance of her salvation with all her questions answered. Blind faith does not satisfy her to her credit. Also, I do not believe that she has ever been or at least is not now that election has been introduced as an alternative to the altar call profession, trusting in the fact that she did answer an altar call and ask Jesus into her life. She is between a rock and a hard place.

The best that I know how to do is remind her that it is not knowledge that saves us. It is not theology that saves us. It is what we believe about Jesus that makes that union and salvation---or not. Depending on what it is we believe about Jesus. And she does believe he is who the Bible says he is. And that he did what the Bible says he did. Even to the point of Jesus' deity, though she accepts that without a lot of theological study of it. She knows he is not a creation. I tell her to not try and determine if she is one of the elect. (Which would be working backwards.) The doctrines of election and predestination need to either be studied thoroughly or left alone. If she believes what needs to be believed about Christ, she is one of the elect. And there will be no surprise on judgment day of Jesus saying he did not know her.

Which then brings up the question: How do I know I really believe and am not just kidding myself? I have asked her, "Can you stop believing?" And the response is, "It would scare me to stop believing so I must really believe." Which doesn't exactly answer the question but close enough.

But how to present assurance of faith is one of the places I need help. I bought a little book by Sproul, "Can I Be Sure I'm Saved" hoping that would do the trick for my sister. After reading it I realized it would only exacerbate her doubt. Everything in it is based on already being well schooled in Reformed theology and familiar with terms. Evrything he said she would turn against herself as evidence that she was not one of the elect. His final test of assurance was the internal witness of the Spirit. How do you explain what that is to someone? Even Unitarians think they have that internal witness.
 
How do I know I really believe and am not just kidding myself?

"Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen" (Hebrews 11:1) defines faith as the firm assurance, confidence, or foundational reality of future promises or spiritual truths not yet physically observed. It acts as a conviction that what God has promised will come to pass, providing evidence for invisible realities.
Hope is: the expectation, desire, and trust that a positive outcome will occur or that something desired is attainable.

Seems to me that your analysis is thorough. It is up to God to determine a person's understanding/faith.
  • Philippians 2:13 for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.
  • 1 Corinthians 4:7 What have you that you did not receive? If then you received it, why do you boast as if you had not received it?" (1 Corinthians 4:7)
  • 2 Corinthians 1:21 Now it is God who establishes and confirms us [in joint fellowship] with you in Christ, and who has anointed us [empowering us with the gifts of the Spirit]
...that's my 2 cents worth
 
I am not sure if this post belongs in this section or in "Other".

It concerns my youngest sister who came to Christ through an altar call many years ago. By that I am simply stating that she made a confession of faith through that means. There is a personality type involved here as well as life experience that always causes her to ask the big unanswerable questions and then question herself because she has these questions. At the same time, those questions in her mind are based on utterly human perceptions of justice, mercy, fair etc. The questions cannot be fully answered by theology, those things that are hidden in God, and that are beyond the human mind to grasp, and that on the surface are very uncomfortable to look at. The wars and killing God called for in the OT, the slaughter of animals, the judgment to come, "good" people being sent to hell.

Through faith and pursuit of God in his word---growth iow---we come to understand or at least accept these things theologically. Here I need to include a bit of backstory.

My sister, like me and my other two siblings, were brought to Christ through the "free choice" and Dispensational pov. My brother was the first to be introduced to Calvinism ( and I use that term here because his eschatological view remained loyal to a pre-trib rapture though I think that was as far as his dispensational view went.) It was all that was ever presented to him but the full Dispensational framework I don't think was ever in his vocabulary. It certainly was not in mine. And I became Covenant framework (Reformed) after he had passed. My older sister wants nothing to do with it either way. She is "free will choice" and Charismatic.

I said all that to say this: My brother had talked to her a little about the DoG prior to his death. I don't know how deeply. But she inherited all his many books on the subject. I already had them. So, she has a hit and miss awareness of the concept of election and predestination.

This sister reads the Bible sporadically and by way of isolated texts. There was a long period of time when she was going through a terrible time and even alienated herself from everyone but my brother but that was dissolved (and I use that term deliberately instead of resolved) and healed on the day of my brother's burial six years ago. Another story and not relevant here.

Now, she is questioning her salvation, but she does it from the approach of lack of knowledge. It presents in this manner: What if when you die and thought you were saved you discovered that you were not one of the elect, and the "Lord, Lord didn't we..." and he answered, "I do not know you." applied to you. She compares herself also with the conversations that she has had with my brother and I which she sees as us knowing so much more than she does and her lack of being in that same place or having not been in that same pursuit, as possible evidence of not being one of the elect.

Since she is asking questions that are answered somewhere along the path of theological knowledge gained, and wanting the conclusion, it is very difficult to know how to respond or where to start. I can give her the conclusion, but it leaves all the theological groundwork undone, therefore still doesn't answer any of the questions. The groundwork has to start at the beginning and be taught.

Well, I know that the groundwork is not necessary for salvation. And I also know my sister and myself. She is made by God one way for his purposes, and I am made another way for his purposes. I have a bent towards pursuing, and pursuing, and pursuing---knowledge and understanding in the things of God. She does not. One is not better than the other, just different. She just wants the bottom line and unfortunately, also a clear-cut assurance of her salvation with all her questions answered. Blind faith does not satisfy her to her credit. Also, I do not believe that she has ever been or at least is not now that election has been introduced as an alternative to the altar call profession, trusting in the fact that she did answer an altar call and ask Jesus into her life. She is between a rock and a hard place.

The best that I know how to do is remind her that it is not knowledge that saves us. It is not theology that saves us. It is what we believe about Jesus that makes that union and salvation---or not. Depending on what it is we believe about Jesus. And she does believe he is who the Bible says he is. And that he did what the Bible says he did. Even to the point of Jesus' deity, though she accepts that without a lot of theological study of it. She knows he is not a creation. I tell her to not try and determine if she is one of the elect. (Which would be working backwards.) The doctrines of election and predestination need to either be studied thoroughly or left alone. If she believes what needs to be believed about Christ, she is one of the elect. And there will be no surprise on judgment day of Jesus saying he did not know her.

Which then brings up the question: How do I know I really believe and am not just kidding myself? I have asked her, "Can you stop believing?" And the response is, "It would scare me to stop believing so I must really believe." Which doesn't exactly answer the question but close enough.

But how to present assurance of faith is one of the places I need help. I bought a little book by Sproul, "Can I Be Sure I'm Saved" hoping that would do the trick for my sister. After reading it I realized it would only exacerbate her doubt. Everything in it is based on already being well schooled in Reformed theology and familiar with terms. Evrything he said she would turn against herself as evidence that she was not one of the elect. His final test of assurance was the internal witness of the Spirit. How do you explain what that is to someone? Even Unitarians think they have that internal witness.
More than once I have been accused of self-promotion or pride when I tell people why I'm not afraid to die anymore. But it really comes from seeing who is the center of this universe, to whom and from whom everything exists. If I was the one to direct the direction of any one group of people (and I'm not) it would be from the Doctrine of God (proper). I'm not saying it needs taught as by that title, though. People are smarter than they realize, being intimidated by terminology.

I see God as so magnificent that whether I go to hell or heaven, he is to be praised —if for no other reason, for his magnificent self as demonstrated in the huge plan he is accomplishing. But to say that, apparently has only raised the hackles of those who don't know what I am talking about, so I'm all for just starting to tell them about him. (In effect, that's what I see us as doing here with this site!). A guy at a reunion said to me, "You seem so, 'at peace', or something...". (Lol, no, I didn't say I'm no longer married!). I tried to say something like, "God is magnificent.", but I used too many words, and before I was done, I saw the eyes glaze over.
 
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